(bio) Rehearsed Chaos [punkedupqt]
2007-05-31 -- 10:26 p.m.
the one you pretend as, is usually the one you wish to truly be.
you can call me meredith, as its my "real" name. I'll go by punkedupqt too, if you please. after all, it is legendary. :]
age 17, not quite average.
Short, and i love it.
Was once obsessed with my myspace; it was just something new to play with.
(my original love) been on diaryland for 3 years, 5 monthes, and 1 day [as of 5/31/07]. its my sanctuary.
nothing has ever saved me better.
i dont use capital letters in anything unless its completely necessary. they are ugly, and only intended to force emphasis on my writing.
i'd like to say i'm a 'writer', but hardly a poet. not much of an artist either, but i do have a knack for original dland templates. you can see for yourself by looking at my diary.
i'm... in love, for real this time.
a basket case.
quite the contradiction.
an unwritten and unwritable story.
envious of everything i actually can be [and will never try to turn into].
...the best damn liar you'll ever meet.
got you wondering now, didnt i?
i have a lot of things id call 'favorites'. music is one. people is another. animals, insects, and other creatures is something. i guess by naming people, ive limited myself very greatly. oh well, it makes this easier.
i'm very good at life. i pick up on any aspect quickly, adapt, and reconstruct. usually leave my imprint, and everyone who came into contact with it ends up better than they were before i showed up.
i leave most people sooner or later, they only need me for so long.
there's only so much time.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
the game will never change
sometimes
i wanna make every day perfect.
i wanna tell you until your ears bleed.
i wanna scream at the ocean.
i wanna fall up.
i wanna stop time.
i wanna paint your eyes.
i wanna wait for nothing.
i wanna commit murder.
sometimes
there are some times
i wanna believe nothing
and know everything.
imagine if
you broke every vein and bled from your eyes. the sidewalk cracked and you floated on nothing for eternity. you can't move to cover your ears as the silence destroys your soul and is over in the speed of light. you have to walk on millions and millions of razors during a journey you kno will never end but you can't stop in the middle of.
imagine if
you tried to sleep but could never close your eyes. if your dreams stapled you to the bedpost and never let you wake up. if you watched a vase fall and shatter over and over again and had to pick up the pieces.
imagine if
you could take a trip thru my twisted mind and get stuck under the tidal waves. and when you drowned, the world would never take you back.
imagine if
music was made of knives. if it could slice into your soul the answer to "why?". thousands of arms just stabbing and stabbing until suddenly you understand. then it all stops. how much would you bleed?
i am afraid of nothing except everything.
ive lost my mind.
please god dont find it for me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Last Five Entries...
(book) Chapter 1: Scene 2 & 3 [Phoenix] - 6.30.07
(poem) Untitled [mae9191] - 2007-06-26
(Poem) Heaven's Messengers [And-Darling] - 2007-06-25
(Photos) Heaven's Messangers [And-Darling] - 2007-06-25
(info) Critique Writing [Phoenix] - 6.23.07












